vampires and teen romance?!
Uh, yes please!!! Obsessed much? Absolutely.
It's gotten me thinking, how much time I spend (or waste) doing unneccessary things. Some would argue that reading might be one of those things. I for one, am one of those people. Before you come at me with pitchforks etcetera, let me explain. When I read, I obsess. I read one book at a time, straight through. Drinking, eating and any kind of trip to the lady's room (singular lady, as I am the only one in my household) becomes a burden. And sadly, that carries over to the negligence of more important things like, er, my family... of course reading is fabulous, when done in moderation. It's something I need to work on. Much like my other projects and hobbies that end up taking over, leaving my home in shambles.
I don't think I purposefully try to be the alpha mom. I appreciate challenges and competition (minus making people feel bad). You see, part of the problem lies in my genetic makeup. No worries, we won't be talking about the birds and the bees here. But my mother is a creator. She makes everything. And my father? He's beyond driven. So combine those two qualities and you get an obsessor much like moi. It's who I am. It's a strength and a weakness. Definitely something which necessitates balance. But how?
I start to get down on myself because when I get in these zombie like trances, I can see myself from a third person's point of view; I can see Beth coasting. And while I'm aware of all this, I don't do anything to change it. I want to, but at the same time I don't. What's with that?! For example, why can't I bring myself to pour over my scriptures as though they were a stolen copy of Midnight Sun? I don't know! I know I should, and I know I can -- I've done it before, back in the days of college past. What's changed?
I don't know. But I do know that I'll be reading Eclipse in less than a few days when my copy comes to me, straight on through morning. I've gone for almost five plus years without reading anything but textbooks, and scriptures. Consequently, I've forgotten how much I enjoy reading. And how much of a distraction it is for me. Especially when I start thinking silly thoughts about how much I enjoy the written word and how I would like to not only partake of it but also contribute to it. Before I wanted to be a nutritionist (college), or a doctor (pre-college), I wanted to be a writer (pre-highschool, until that one class with that one teacher...).
Wowza, this is quite the rambelicious post (made up words included). Needless to say, I've been going through some soul searching for quite a while. Often that searching is disrupted by things such as my current obsession, which only throws me into an even deeper search fest. You know what I need? A "to do" list. Yeah, that's a good place to start, with the word procrastination towards the top, underneath balance, both in bold letters. Yeah, I'll get right on that... after I read Eclipse. *B
It's gotten me thinking, how much time I spend (or waste) doing unneccessary things. Some would argue that reading might be one of those things. I for one, am one of those people. Before you come at me with pitchforks etcetera, let me explain. When I read, I obsess. I read one book at a time, straight through. Drinking, eating and any kind of trip to the lady's room (singular lady, as I am the only one in my household) becomes a burden. And sadly, that carries over to the negligence of more important things like, er, my family... of course reading is fabulous, when done in moderation. It's something I need to work on. Much like my other projects and hobbies that end up taking over, leaving my home in shambles.
I don't think I purposefully try to be the alpha mom. I appreciate challenges and competition (minus making people feel bad). You see, part of the problem lies in my genetic makeup. No worries, we won't be talking about the birds and the bees here. But my mother is a creator. She makes everything. And my father? He's beyond driven. So combine those two qualities and you get an obsessor much like moi. It's who I am. It's a strength and a weakness. Definitely something which necessitates balance. But how?
I start to get down on myself because when I get in these zombie like trances, I can see myself from a third person's point of view; I can see Beth coasting. And while I'm aware of all this, I don't do anything to change it. I want to, but at the same time I don't. What's with that?! For example, why can't I bring myself to pour over my scriptures as though they were a stolen copy of Midnight Sun? I don't know! I know I should, and I know I can -- I've done it before, back in the days of college past. What's changed?
I don't know. But I do know that I'll be reading Eclipse in less than a few days when my copy comes to me, straight on through morning. I've gone for almost five plus years without reading anything but textbooks, and scriptures. Consequently, I've forgotten how much I enjoy reading. And how much of a distraction it is for me. Especially when I start thinking silly thoughts about how much I enjoy the written word and how I would like to not only partake of it but also contribute to it. Before I wanted to be a nutritionist (college), or a doctor (pre-college), I wanted to be a writer (pre-highschool, until that one class with that one teacher...).
Wowza, this is quite the rambelicious post (made up words included). Needless to say, I've been going through some soul searching for quite a while. Often that searching is disrupted by things such as my current obsession, which only throws me into an even deeper search fest. You know what I need? A "to do" list. Yeah, that's a good place to start, with the word procrastination towards the top, underneath balance, both in bold letters. Yeah, I'll get right on that... after I read Eclipse. *B
I like this post! I definitely understand.
ReplyDeleteWow-finally someone who's just like me!! Seriously, that makes me feel so much better, because I'm the same way. And I've become obsessive on getting books for the kids, so I can read to them. Which I must add they love. I really do feel the same way you do. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you know I Love ya Beth! You're awesome.
i love to read. i love to read so much that i don't read at all. hmm? you might ask. i get addicted. it doesn't matter what the book. once i start i can't put it don't. i have to finish.... i put off doing everything just so i can read. these days i have way too much going on, so i just don't read. kinda a bummer though. maybe i should try again, i can probably control myself much better now.
ReplyDeleteHaha, as soon as I saw the subject of your blog I couldn't help but smile because I too finished Twilight yesterday and had to honestly restrain myself from breaking the sabbath to get the second book (don't worry, I was faithful.) But as soon as the sun rose this morning I was on my way to Barnes and Noble. I too have wondered why I cannot fall in love with the nephites the same way I have with vampires but the only thing I have come up with is that I have to THINK when I learn about the Nephites but vampires...its a no brainer. Now, is that an excuse for me, kinda, but should it be, not really. So, I too am trying to find the balance in life but I must admit that vampires makes it a little more interesting! :)
ReplyDeleteBeth, I can totally relate!! AHH! And the part about not pouring your soul into your scriptures the way you do the latest book is my dilemma as well! Tell me when you strike the perfect balance and pass on the tips.
ReplyDeleteYou're not the only one Beth! I am sitting here reading your blog when really there are a million other things I "should" be doing...yet they are still undone! :)
ReplyDeleteSo do you have a "stolen copy of Midnight Sun"? Just wondering. I would have died if I couldn't have posted on this topic. I'm glad I finally got through. I love these vampires! Just short of my love for Harry Potter! I'm glad you enjoy them also. I feel stupid sometimes for liking something so silly, but come on! It's good vampire stuff.
ReplyDeletep.s. I'm getting Eclipse at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this? I have never heard of these books! But, then, I know, I keep to my sacred world of Harry Potter pretty exclusivly, but I am always up for something new. They aren't an LDS novel, are they?
ReplyDeleteOh, Beth! Reading is my great obsession too. I even read when I brush my teeth. It's called multi tasking. There are all kinds of things you can do and read at the same time. Just don't drive, change a diaper... you kwim? I need to get those books. I love me a good vampire story and all my Anne Rice ones are old news.
ReplyDeleteOh Jessica! The author is LDS and a BYU graduate! I love them to death! The author is Stephanie Meyer and she's very good for a teenage/vampire writer.
ReplyDeleteAnd werewolves. You (and I) forgot to mention the werewolves...
ReplyDeleteThanks you guys, I will have to look into them. Since you like them so well, I will give them a try.
ReplyDeleteHi beth, I fell off the blog planet for awhile but I missed reading your blog. Your obsessions will chill with age. Mine did. I still have them but it is easier to ballance as your family isn't as demanding. Hang in there.
ReplyDelete