oh by golly

have a holly, jolly Christmas this year! *B et al.


merry Christmas to me

Thanks for all the well wishes! And thanks to Mom and Dad Summers for coming down and helping us change locations. We left our place today (just like this) for Arizona. We'll be back soon after all the festivities with a small truckload of furniture and presents!

And then I can decorate to my heart's content. Yahoo! *B


in the process of being merry

Cheers for festive blog headers! And cheers to Cherie Mask for her "Be Merry" kit at 2peas (freebie). Love it. I'm also merry about moving! We signed our souls away and now have the keys to our new apartment! And I took some pictures:

Yes, a washer and dryer! And a kitchen!! With a stove!!! And a fridge! And a freezer!! And two sinks plus garbage disposal! And a dishwasher!!! I am all about the exclamations right now!!!!! In case you couldn't tell, I'm pretty stoked. And yes, that is a welcome basket, complete with card addressed "Dear valued resident." Awesome. I'm valued.

Since we're moving, I've been pretty slack on the decorations. Justifiably so, right? But here is the little proof that we aren't Scrooges (we're the Summers):

Can you believe Christmas is only 11 days away?! So much to do. Such little time. It's ok, I have a kitchen!!! *B


are you thinking what i'm thinking?

So I'm thinking the party is over... and in my opinion, it (and the free Festive Desk below) was a bust. Oh well. I think I'll just blame it on being busy. Me busy. You busy. We all busy. But I still wanted to throw some ideas out there, get some feedback.

First off
, this snazzy poll (I've been wanting to do one since, like, the before time):

Secondly: a give-away! Probably my last one, too (lots of reasons). Since this was a birthday party, I thought I would give away my entire party hat kit to one lucky winner! So leave a comment, letting me know you're interested in some digital head gear and I'll draw a name some time next week (after which I'll be taking down the freebie mini version). Or would the beginning of the new year be better for everyone? Perfect timing for a party hat, eh then?

Thirdly: anyone out there want our Summers' family Christmas card this year? I've got one designed and ready to be printed if any family or friends want one. Just email me your addy and I'll get it to you hopefully before the holiday! But I do need to get a count before I send it to the printers...

Fourthly: New theme song for the blog! It's fun, but what I really wanted was Jim Noir's remake of "My Patch". Oh well... I guess I'll keep looking. But for now, "It's Christmas! Let's Be Glad!", by THE Sufjan Stevens.

Fifthly: I think another break is in order. Like I said, we all busy. Brad is in the middle of finals (after which he'll be officially half way through law school!!!) and I'm in the middle of a ton of things, such as, but not limited to: moving (and all that it entails), Christmas shopping/creating, business venturing, schooling, various planning, celebrating, etc. Needless to say, I'm feeling pressed on time and blogging isn't bringing me any closer to freedom. And I honestly don't know if anyone is even reading this thing nowadays... so yeah. I'll be back whenever y'all think I should be (as in, when do you think I should do the drawing?). Okey dokey?

All rightey then. *B


as promised...

I have a treat for anyone who is interested: a holiday desktop! I can't believe it's December. Sheesh. Anyway, here's a decorative wallpaper to display eight festive photos. The specifics: saved at 72 dpi, png format, and scaled at 1280 x 1024 pixels. Hope you like it :)

movin' on up

Yay, you made it!!! Sorry about pulling the rug out from ya, but some changes are going on... more on those later ;)

But here's something I can share with you: we're moving! Not just blog addies, but apartments! It's like double the trouble, eh? Anyway, we're so excited! The new place will be just PERFECT for what our family needs. For example, a pool and park only 50 yards away!!! Needless to say, I'm thrilled, as is our little monkey:

I think all of this hullabaloo calls for a huzzah! Or maybe even a triple one: huzzah, huzzah, HUZZAH!!! Check that out, three exclamation points too. Not too shabby! Anyway, I hope you stick around regardless all the craziness. Because I'm going to share something with y'all later tonight (hopefully)! The party isn't over yet. And if current events are any indication of the future, then the party's just begun!

Booyah. *B


bunch of busy b's

Just in case the last post wasn't clear enough (due to its lack of words...), you could say we've been busy. Too busy to party even! But we had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and an eventful one at that! We decided to swing by Disneyland for a few hours before continuing down to spend the holiday at my grandparents'. Just a couple of miles from the beloved theme park we had a flat. On I-5. We ended up having to get a new tire, and then we made our way to Disney. Had a great time. And we got safely to our final destination and had a lovely time with cousins/aunt/uncle, etc.

We got home on Friday and the very next day there was another Malibu fire. Only this time we had no internet, no cable, and consequently, no phone. We were totally out of the loop. But, thankfully we were never evacuated, although we were prepared just in case. And this time I got some good photos in regards to both fires. Will even got to "ride" in a real-live fire truck this last time!

Sunday was the basic Sabbath, until we realized an awful smell coming from our bathroom. Ta dah! pipe problems! Luckily it was fixed the next day. All is well.

Except that my baby boy is sick. I always feel somewhat helpless whenever he gets struck with something. But he is, of course, a super trooper and mostly sweet. The rest of us are busy with school (finals are here?!), work, and LOTS of side projects (like this, and this, cards, etc.). So I've decided to extend the birthday bash into December! I can't believe November is already gone. Sheesh.

Also extended: your chance to partake in the aforementioned SPA SALE, from now through the first week of December! Since we're all busy and the holidays are here and fast upon us, I figured I'd spread the cheer. So, for the rest of November (er, today) through December 8th, any Sensaria Natural Bodycare product you so desire is 24% off!!! Why 24? Because that's how old I am now! Oh, and here are some pamper-fest-ive goodies that are also on sale through ALL of December... Just peruse through my website, make up a wish-list, and when you're good and ready, email me that list and I'll get you that discount! Easy peasy ;)

I'm not finished with my blogging fun-time, so don't remove those part hats yet! Oh, and we are indeed a bunch of B's! All three of us in this little Summers camp share the initials of B.S. Coolness, eh? *B


Thanksgiving: a series of mostly fortunate events

more picturesque events here.

We had a wonderful, eventful Thanksgiving this year! And although the week did not go as planned, we do count ourselves lucky and grateful. *B


it's break time (not to be confused with break-dancing)

I'm taking a break for the rest of the week. But hey, I have posted more this past week than I did last month (I think)! Besides, it's a holiday and everyone's too busy for little ol' {B} ;)

Oh, and we're going to Disneyland tomorrow!!! I'm so excited, since it's been two months already, HA! I was supposed to go last month though... hopefully they've still got the Nightmare Before Christmas ride up and running. It'll be a fun and lazy day at the famous theme park, though. Just spend a few hours there before we continue on down to San Diego for Thanksgiving. Oh, and we might stop and check out some new pink glasses that I'm getting for my birthday! Also excited about that. But really, it'll just be nice to spend time with my little family comprised of an exhausted husband and a rambunctious son AND my grandparents, aunt/uncle/cousins! I just love this time of year, don't you?

So have a happy, happy, happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy your time with family and friends. Be happy. *B


totally my {b}ad

First off, I have wonderful news that is making me want to celebrate (and quite possibly, do a happy jig to boot). For example, that pesky hole in my stomach is closed! Sorry, I guess it's kinda nasty news, but it's good news nonetheless! Now I just look like I have a bellybutton in the shape of an H, rather than its O predecessor. But the days of packing schmacking are gone! Needless to say, I'm feeling extra festive. I just can't help myself, especially with all of these approaching holidays!

Also, I've been thinking... since this month is so crazy for everyone with the upcoming tryptophan feast and the blowout sales fest that follow, perhaps I should forego my previous idea of handing out party hat favors. No worries, you still get them! However, instead of giving one little thing away with every post this month, I'm just going to give you the loot in one fun lump! I'm excited with all the downloads of the little orange hat from a few days ago, but I'm afraid some might have been disappointed when they realized that that was ALL they were getting. And that's no fun. And I'm all about having fun right now!

What's more, I'm just going to spill the beans: I have an Etsy shop! There's not much in it right now, but I have big plans for it, including the complete set of party hats (I'm working on it as we speak)! So when you click to download your {B}uild A Hat, it's a sample do-over. Basically, you are getting enough doo-hickies for one hat, and one hat only. It comes with a hat, a pom-pom, a sequin, a bow, a heart, a star, a sparkle-swirl, a button and a ric-rac. If you love the freebie and find yourself craving more colors/options, then check out my boutique!

{B}uild A Hat, sample do-over
(forget that other one...)

So, the last link has been removed and you can now download your own mini-hat kit (it'll be up for the rest of the month). Please, have fun with it! I would LOVE to see what you do with it. After all, creativity breeds more creativity... And that makes me happy. *B

PS- have a happy Thanksgiving!!! :)

also in the works...

Wow, two posts in one day! I haven't done that in a long time... and since I'm feeling so darn ambitious, I may just post again (it IS a party, right?!). In fact, I'm pretty sure I might do just that! :P

So, this month is almost over, as hard as it is to believe that it is! So, not only do you have the rest of the month to give thanks, but you also have some time to save some moolah! Because.....

I am personally throwing a birthday-bash SPA SALE, through Sensaria Natural Bodycare! And since the holidays are here and fast upon us, I figured I'd spread the cheer. So, for the rest of November, any product you so desire is 24% off!!! Why 24? Because that's how old I am now! Just peruse through my website, make up a wish-list, and when you're good and ready, email me that list and I'll get you that discount! Easy peasy ;)

I think most of you know by now how passionate I am about nutrition, about what you put in your mouth. But I'm also quite careful about what I let through my skin. It is, after all, your largest organ. Yes, you may call me a health-nut. A granola girl even, and I'll take it as a compliment, HA! Anyway, so there you have it. I love food, the good stuff. And I love being pampered, with good stuff. Not just stuff that smells and/or feels good, but is good for you!

And that makes me happy. *B

give thanks by giving back

I think this message says it all; I really couldn't add to it. But please, check out this organization. And watch this. Who am I to complain about whatever it is I complain about?! *B

As Thanksgiving approaches, I know that so many of us are reflecting on the blessings and good fortune we have enjoyed throughout the year. I am reminded of how grateful I am for the family and friends who bring me so much joy – and for the support of people like you who make CARE's work possible.

Thanksgiving is also a time of generosity and, today, you have the chance to make your generosity go twice as far through a special matching gift campaign.

Businesswoman, philanthropist and CARE Ambassador Sheila Johnson will match all gifts made from now until the end of November, up to $100,000. Make your donation today and it will be DOUBLED, dollar for dollar, to empower women and families around the globe.

Your gift today will help CARE continue to respond to desperate need and create long-term solutions for some of the world's most vulnerable people.
  • Hundreds of thousands of people forced to flee their homes in Darfur depend on CARE to provide food, water and critical medical attention.

  • CARE continues to help those displaced by the devastating earthquake in Peru earlier this year rebuild their communities and plan for the future.

  • In 66 countries around the globe, CARE's programs to empower women are making an enormous difference in poor communities.
Please, help CARE continue this vital work – and double your impact – by making your donation today.

I feel truly thankful when I think of the thousands of CARE supporters who are willing to do anything they can to fight poverty. You make our work possible. I hope you will take this opportunity to double your gift and create lasting change for those living in poverty.

Thank you for your commitment to create lasting change. Working together, I know we can make a real difference for poor women, families and communities around the world.


Helene D. Gayle, MD, MPH
President and CEO, CARE


let's get this party started!!!

First off, let's answer some of those questions that have been going around.

Question #1 (regarding me quitting):

No, I am not leaving the blogosphere anytime soon. I am, however, going to use my time more wisely. What has happened as of late is sad. It's true. But perhaps it happened for a reason, as I've gained some pretty good personal perspective. I have grown to appreciate the time I do have with the baby that I do have. And I have been reminded of what matters most to me; my priorities versus my hobbies.

Question #2 (regarding the aforementioned {B}ash):
In order to participate, just come and visit everyday as there will be something new and exciting --no promises though; I do have a toddler, and a boy at that! But I have a few fun things on the docket, such as, but not limited to: said party hats, discounts at "the spa", an upcoming tag, thought provoking polls, various freebies, a super swap, and some spotlights. Basically, I want to do a lot of fun things that I've sorta missed out on for the last little while. And I hope to have some equally fun participants!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Now, with that out of the way, it's time to partay!!! My first act as party hostess (with-the-mostest :) is to give you, my lovely guests, your very own party hat!!! I've been working on these bad boys for quite a while now, and I was kinda saving them for such an occasion as this --aka. my birthday. As you can see, the possibilities are endless, and oh so fun! I have already donned my festive headgear and it is now time for you to get all gussied up, too!

So this is how it will work:
with every new post, for the rest of this month, I will be giving out party hat favors! Now don't forget that these posts are FUN posts, in and of themselves. This is the first of many {B}happy posts and this is also the post where you will receive your own hat. The next post will then be accompanied by some sort of fancy doodah (ie. sparkle-swirls). And the post after that, with another element (ie. pom-pom). And so on and so forth. And when all is said and done, we'll all dress up and have fun! Thereby spreading the happiness. Voila:

{B}uild A Hat, part I

ETA: this freebie is no longer available. Basically, I goofed.
You can get the
real one here:

Like I said, I am ready to be happy. I am ready to party! *B


won't you party with me?

So I've been thinking... since last month was so crummy-lame-oh, why not make this month its antithesis: silly-fun-oh!!! I'm tired of being sad and I'm ready to be glad! I have LOTS of smile-worthy things going on; I'm not all bad news. And I think this month might be the month to let loose on some of that good news I briefly mentioned (it seems so long ago, eh?). It'll be my coup de grace... But in the meantime, won't you please come and {B}happy with me? It is, after all, my birthday :P

Don't make me beg... please? *B

Thanks to Gina: "Dabbling in Doodles" freebie

happy birthday, baby

Just because I'm getting older, doesn't mean I have to stop being sooooo darn seductive! And it doesn't hurt having such a HOT car either... thanks go to the multiple deer for the sexy dent. And apparently, age has no impact on my dorky behavior. Huzzah!!!

Yes, I'm older than I look. *B


for posterity's sake

October has come and gone. Sadness. It's always been my favorite month; the start of my favorite season and the mother of my favorite holiday. Now, I'm afraid, it will always be tinged with a feeling of sadness. So much has happened since the 9th of October... just four and a half weeks ago. I know I've talked about this before. And I really don't want to be a bummer blogger. But just bear with me as I work out this time-line (for posterity's sake). I do have a few pictures to share though! It was, after all, an eventful month...

Monday, October 1st:
-get back from a quick trip to Mesa
-finally relax, accept the fact that I am indeed pregnant and all is well. Get excited and start planning.
Tuesday, October 2nd:
-bleeding starts along with the worrying, and tears.
Tuesday, October 9th:
-went to first scheduled Dr. Appointment regarding Maybe baby
-ended up in the Emergency Room for a supposed D&C procedure. Waiting ensued.
-Will stays with the amazing Schooleys
Wednesday, October 10th:
-finally admitted in the wee morning hours
-many ultrasounds and private proddings later, we have an ectopic pregnancy in the works
-get to go home after a long day in the hell-hole and grab a bite to eat (finally!!!); pick up Will (finally!) and briefly visit with visiting family
Thursday, October 11th:
-go with dad to the appointment. Blood drawn. Waiting ensued.
-decide to opt for surgery; admitted late at night
Friday, October 12th:
-surgery went well in that the tube was saved. Not so well in that the embryo needed yet another incision (thank you C-section **heavy sarcastic eye-roll**)
-mmm, the joys of a liquid diet (at the misguided hands of the attending hospital nutrition staff... grr)
-Will and the rest of the family goes to Disneyland. They enjoy the Haunted Mansion turned into The Nightmare Before Christmas ride without me. I am there in spirit?
Saturday, the 13th:
-more complications, oh joy! Navel incision basically bursts.
-The Result: yay, more staples and another day in the hospital!
Sunday, the 14th:
-visiting family leaves while I return home (finally!)
Monday through Tuesday (15-16):
-Mrs. Saint McLean watches over me and monk. Bless her.
-the wonderful in-laws come to visit and take Will home with them
Wednesday through Saturday (17-20):
-a long and lonely week, spent healing
Sunday, October 21st:
-fires erupt in Malibu Canyon, aka. our canyon. Watch TV in place of going to church (not like we could get there even if we tried... roads were already being blocked.)
-we're issued a mandatory evacuation; pack up laptop, computer, photo boxes, and VitaMix (yes, I did). Oh, and our land lady's dog (of course she's gone for the month).
-temporarily crash at the lovely Domans; watch TV and use the phone a lot.

photo of Pepperdine in flames, courtesy of Perry's Place

Monday, October 22nd:
-Yay, it's back to the hospital for me! Fake enthusiasm is cut short: the navel staples didn't work.
-The Result: a hole in my stomach (and a near fainting husband), about the size of a lumpy marble.
-crying ensues (and of course there were lots of babies at the hospital that day). Leave pitiful message on my mom's answering machine.
-contemplate the joys of packing my open wound, while walking around the mall. Leave empty handed (so much for retail therapy), and extremely sore.
Tuesday, October 23rd:
-fly out to AZ to be mothered by my mother. I've had enough.
-Brad swings by the apartment and lo and behold, can return! Our house, and neighborhood for that matter, is safe. Many grateful prayers are offered.
October 24th through October 30th:
-get babied and pampered by my awesome MOM (an upside down WOW)! Try to make the most of MY month with festive purchases and activities, such as: pedicure (orange toes, naturally), hair cut, crazy charm bracelet (complete with eyeballs), and costumes for the upcoming holiday.
-also extremely blessed by wonderful friends and neighbors who selflessly gave up their hair products, clothes, etc. (since I left straight from being evacuated and brought basically nothing with me but my pillow).
-Will joins us in our revelry after his stay in WA. I'm very glad, and overwhelmed, at having him with me. All is right, for a moment.
October 31st:
-It's HALLOWEEN! Mom makes a killer banana costume for me (towels and potholders), while Will makes a dang cute monkey! See for yourself:

-Will gets his fill of candy (give me a break... the worst month ever + my favorite holiday = candy for kid).

And now it's November! Obviously, I have returned. And I have yet to go back to the hospital because I have yet to hear from them (after three messages!!!). But never fear, I am healing and feeling better (physically). It's amazing how much of a difference it makes when you can actually see yourself healing. And what was once a hole so large it took six inches of sterile guaze strips to pack it full, is now nothing more than half an eraser from a pencil (with only a centimeter of packing junk). Although, my stomach is awfully tired of all the tape action... what's more, the swelling has gone down lots. That's good too. It also helps not looking pregnant when you are no longer pregnant, wouldn't you say?

In all honesty, as Negative Nellie as I may sound, I am doing well. Physically. And emotionally. I still have my moments, though. And I'm not going to lie. It's been a bit hard with all these babies being born in the ward and all these friends getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am MORE than happy for these expecting friends. They are more than deserving, they've been through a lot (more than me). It's just tough when it seems like everyone's due date is around Maybe's date. It will forever be a loss for me.

But really, I am happy for everyone and would never wish to deny anyone the blessings of having their own babies come April or May. And I've had enough going on with the fires and then the ongoing complications to keep myself busy from throwing a pity party. And most of all, I've had you to get me through it all. My family. My friends. And if anything, this has made me more grateful and appreciative of Will. My baby, now and forever... the monkey that he is. *B


as of late

And by late, I mean late at night (or early-whirly morning). I can't sleep and my mind is racing, probably because my body has been laid up for so long. Thanks proxy brain. Anyway, so I decided to use this as my journal, which it is. So this will be a random, and primarily personal, post. Most likely my rambles will be cryptic enough for public viewing (yeah, that's what I'll tell myself).

It hit me a few minutes ago that I would have been at the start of my second trimester. Of course I teared up, but it got me thinking about other things. I've had a lot of time to just sit, and think of my life and where it's headed. And sometimes I'm not happy with where it's going. This past year I've been so caught up in all of my hobbies (blogging and scrapping gigs included) for so many reasons: loneliness and entertainment (gotta love law school), denial (makes me forget I'm poor, a wife, a mother...), etc. And while I've made lots of friends and lots of fun things, I think I'm ready to call it quits. Well, not quite, but at least I'm ready for a break.

I've been taking a lot of breaks really. Breaks from life, from all the responsibilities out there. Emily from the Black Apple mentioned that while things serve a purpose, sometimes it's time to let those things go. I'm tired of being crafty. I'm tired of scrapping. I'm tired of blogging. I'm tired of shirking my duties.

Which brings me back to my aforementioned tears. So I lost a baby and have had a hell of a month in the meantime (yes, we were evacuated due to the Malibu fires; and I just happened to find out at the same time that my navel incision wasn't going to heal properly after all and that a daily double dose of packing the hole as a result was just another bonus on top of it all.). I guess I am justified in shedding some salt water every now and then. But what really makes my heart ache is that here I've been wasting my time on creative abandonment while my top priorities go unnoticed.

So what is of real importance to Beth Summers? Three things: My faith, my family and my health. Daily scripture reading (because let's be honest, I haven't even been reading them, let alone studying them. Baby steps, baby steps...) and daily prayer is more important than perusing blogs. I currently have a list of 80 sites I go and visit. But it's not just the browsing that kills me. Before last month's happenings, I considered myself the comment queen. Who does not like getting a comment?! I know it always brightens my day. Now that I am sooooo far behind in all my reading and remarking (1161 posts behind, to be exact), I've decided I can do without. It's not that I don't like to keep in touch with my friends and all the hip crafty divas out there, and I'm not saying that it's not important. But what I am saying is that there are other things of more importance to read, and that for me is the scriptures. I've been guilty for far too long to let my once habit slide anymore. My hiatus has reminded me of that.

I'll say this again (because not saying it is worse): I lost a baby. And for a while it was like I had lost two. I wasn't there for my William during my stay at the hospital and thanks to that pesky thing known as recovery, I "lost" him. I still can't lift him. He's not allowed to sit on my lap. It hurts me on more levels than one. But it is nice to be back at home, and to remember what I do have. I think I've wasted these past two years, denying that I'm a mother. Sure, I feed him, clothe him, generally take care of him. And yes, I love him. But he needs more than that. No, he deserves more than that. I am not his babysitter. I am his mother. This little boy is special, I know it. I know God has wonderful things in store for him and I am not helping him reach that potential. During his absence from my presence, I was terrified that he would forget me. Have I made enough of an impact on him that he would remember me? Does he know how much I love him? I honestly don't know, which is reason in and of itself to try harder. To be better. To accept the fact that this is my life now, I am a mom.

I'm also a wife; an extremely spoiled one. I know how much my husband loves me and he is more than willing to do whatever I ask. But am I as supportive of him? It's not money he needs me to make. I don't need to be killing myself thinking of ways to earn money. He just needs me to be strong, so I can take care of myself and my family. That's not his job, it's mine.

And I always feel better balanced in every aspect of my life when I am healthy. You cannot be spiritually in tune if you fail to take care of your temporal temple. I have been neglecting my health and the health of my family. I'm beyond tired of my current kitchen. My cooking has dropped at least fifty percent this year. Will eats mostly crackers, cheese and milk. I'm lucky if I can choke down some cereal and shove some eggs down Brad's throat. I know better. I know I know better. Nutrition truly is something I am passionate about. I find more joy and fulfillment in studying and practicing proper nutrition than I do in crafting, blogging and scrapping combined. My Masters is more important than the next freebie or give-away. A healthy lifestyle helps me help them (my family). Brain rotting (also known as televisioning) is not a sufficient form of activity for me or my toddler. I swear to anyone who reads this, myself included, that as soon as is possible, I will be active. I will set a good example for my children and a good support system for my husband. We will be a happy and healthy family.

All right, my brain is starting to wind down now. I'm impressed and apologetic if anyone has made it to this point of my thought purging. And I'm afraid my typo frequency is going to increase exponentially by the minute if I don't get off this thing and back to bed. But I'm ready now. My mind is made up and tomorrow I plan for a better life. A balanced life. A simpler life.

Sweet dreams. *B


just thought you'd like to know...

hopefully sooner than later I'll be ready to tell you all about the fires and the hole in my stomach... but for now, I thought I'd clue you in that Miss J-bird is having a massive sale:

Check it out! And I'll be back, sooner than later. Hopefully. *B


happy halloween!!!

First off, I am so touched by everyone's love and support. Wow. You have buoyed me up and for that I am extremely grateful, and even happy. I'll have to update y'all later on what's been going on since last I wrote. I'll give you a hint though: a LOT has happened. But I wish you all a happy holiday today! It's my favorite, and it's a shame this month has gone to pot, so to speak... oh well. At least I get to spend the day with my family, and tonight with my monkey (and I'll be spending it as a banana! ;)



bye-bye my Maybe baby

Sorry about the massive hiatus. But in my defense, this past week was quite possibly the worst week of my life. For example, instead of spending last weekened with my family as planned, I spent it in the L.A. county hospital. Or how about this excuse: twenty pricks and five pelvic exams later, I find myself without a baby but with a full heart. It's a long story.

I guess you could say we conceived Maybe baby some time in August but things were sketchy from the start, hence the name (oh, and I was due in mid-May). My pregnancies seem to be weird from the get go... Anyway, it all started going downhill last Tuesday, when the doctor decided that the week long bleeding was the result of a miscarriage. Per doctor's order we headed off to the E.R. for a D&C procedure. Little did we know our trip would last 29 hours, and then some. It's funny, looking back, when the original doctor said we should be finished and homeward bound at 8 or 9 that night; I think he meant to say the NEXT night. We got there around five in the evening and I didn't even get admitted until the next morning. That's right, a twelve hour waiting period, the usual, of which we were unaware of until 8 hours had already passed...

Finally. Then the next 12 plus hours were spent figuring out what was going on, with Brad alternating between sneaking in and being kicked out --only to sneak back in. After a couple of ultrasounds (external and internal), many blood draws, and countless quiet hours, they came to the conlusion that I was not losing my baby, but soon would be: I had an ectopic pregnancy. So I was left with two options. 1. Methotrexate, which is basically a small dose of chemotherapy; and 2. surgery. We went home thinking number one might work for us (surprised?), with an appointment for the next morning.

My family came to town that night to visit for the weekend. I never got to go to Disneyland with them the next day... I never got to see them outside the hospital, besides the night they arrived. Turns out my hormone levels didn't drop significantly, so it was time to decide. After researching a bit of my own and after a very difficult decision on my part, I decided to go the surgery route. I guess I thought that the worse that could happen with the medication is that it wouldn't work and I would rupture, lose my tube and end up with an emergergency surgery. The worse with surgery would be the loss of my tube, but in a controlled environment. Turns out I was slightly mistaken, again.

Maybe baby ended up being more than difficult. They started with the planned laparoscopic surgery: mini scope through my belly button and two tiny incisions each above my hip bones for maneuvering the instruments. But the embryo was right at the conjunction of my left fallopian tube and uterus, so the simple and non-ivasive surgery was a no go. They ended up having to go through my old C-sec scar, a far more invasive procedure, and safely removed my little one. My tube was saved. However, instead of getting to leave in a few hours, I had to stay for a few days. Thanks to yet another hiccup happening.

My navel incision turned into a serious blood blister. I guess the DermaBond junk just didn't work, which resulted in four staples and an extra day in the hospital. And now I have a recovery time of 6-8 weeks, just like a C-section. Except all I have to show for it will be three new scars and renewed numbness in the old one. No baby for me. Not for another six months at least.

In all honesty though, it could have been worse. And I am extremely grateful for all the positives: family and friends. First off, I still have my happy, healthy little William. And because my family was there, he was taken care of. And my wonderful in-laws now have Monk until next week, giving me time to heal. Let's not forget my fabulous husband who stuck with me through it all. Not to mention his teachers who were not only understanding, but also more than accomadating in dismissing missed classes and rescheduling midterms. And we couldn't have made it without our wonderful friends. The Schooley's were beyond Christlike. Poor Jolene babysat beyond the planned two hours and into the unplanned 30 hours. And then there's the sweet Lynne acting as my surrogate mother all of Monday until the hub's folks got in. Both ladies are lovely, nothing short of a saint. And the countless number of people who have offered prayers, company, rides, books, mementos, meals, etc. We are truly blessed.

And for all that, I am truly grateful. Lonely, but grateful. *B


hobey-ho, let's go!

Let me just start by saying that the winner from the last give-away is none other than the beloved Katie! Congratulations dear heart, you deserve it! Now then, what would you have me do (remember, no dance moves can be found anywhere in these girl's bones)? Get back me to. ;)

So, other than that, what else do I have to share? Hmm, well, I have lots to share actually. Some good, some bad. But I'm afraid I have to wait a bit longer until I'm good and ready to talk about both. Sorry. In all honesty, I'm not really feeling up to blogging or much of anything as of late (although I have discovered Facebook. Sheesh, like I didn't have enough time wasted...). All I want to do is read, which I'm doing plenty of right now and quite enjoying myself.

Basically, I'll be back when I feel like it. HA! How's that for brutal honesty? But hey, that's just me. *B


lessons i've learned today (so far)

If you're too lazy to go to the store for some milk for your toddler, watered down yogurt does the trick. However, once the yo-yo is gone too, admit defeat; it's time to go grocery shopping. *B


hey there

I am indeed alive and well, kickin' it in the A.Z. Yup, the blogsie's anni give-away is still going on; I'll draw and announce when I get back. But for now I am REALLY enjoying my break of sorts (although missing my husband). Oh, and I'm also freaking out about this:

Be back soon! *B


a year (and a day) in review

With a montage and background music to boot! Huzzah!

1. First of all, thanks to all y'all, for being my friends. This past year found me a little on the lonely side of life. But thanks to blogging, I've been able to maintain and make new friends. Shoot, lately I've even found a whole slew of pals from home and college! Keeping in touch is pretty sweet.
2. - 4. Our quaint and quirky guest house has also made for an interesting year. It's the place we call home though. Feel free to stop by, anytime. Visitors welcome (hint, hint)!
5. - 6. It helps that we love it here in sunny Cal, regardless the fires, and other CA casualties. And I don't feel so bad for the studious Brad. Boohoo, he has to go to school on the beach. Cry me an ocean (just kidding, you work really hard honey. We're all VERY proud of you.)!
7. We made it through our first year of law school AND blogging! Everyone jump around in circles, waving your arms like the bunch of crazies I know you are. I'm waiting...
8. - 9. From our campsite to yours: Howdy! and enjoy your stay here :)
10. Are there ever enough tags?! No. In fact, I have one on my to do list. Anyone interested in a pre-tag tag???
11. Ooh-ooh, swaps! I have yet to host one myself, but hopefully someday (you still on for that Rob?). And we mustn't forget the BBQE! I should post pics of all the beautiful blocks...
12. Projects galore! Hey, it's what I do. Have I told you lately, that I love Mod Podge? And all my blocks. And fabric patches. And anything that gives me a creative outlet... creativity is another one of my friends. We're BFF. (I really should start organizing my posts under labels... thoughts?)
13. Digital scrapbooking. Wow, that's consumed lots of B-time (and then some). But I'm still loving it. Thanks to all the ladies who inspired and continue to amaze me.
14. Woot woot! Click here and here for some creative team shout outs. Fun times, fun times...
15. Another HUGE thank you to all you lovelies who have helped me out with my layouts. Somehow scrapping a femme page centered around my Monk seems very wrong. Very wrong indeed. Good thing I have such cute family and friends with such cute girlies of their own!
16. THE call of the year. I'm still suffering Weeds & Wildflowers post-partum. I'm afraid it will never end. But life goes on, and so it has. *sigh*
17. The start of something super crazy. But wait, there's more! Speaking of butts, you're going to have to sit patiently on yours until I get some things sorted out before I let THAT cat out of the {B}ag... and that's that ;P
18. And I dare you to tell me who does NOT like a give-away! I have yet to win one... Sadness. Nonetheless, happiness comes in giving to others. So I will continue to do so, gosh darnit! And here it is:

Celebrate my blogsie's anni with me for a chance to win something. It'll be good, I promise! Basically, leave a comment and I'll pick a random winner to CHOOSE what she (or he?) would have me do! And by do, I mean make, because I'm a po' girl who can't dance.

Thanks again for a wonderful year together. Thanks for keeping me going. Bloggers unite!!! Here's to you my friends. *B


beautiful weather we're having

Well, that goes without saying. But we did enjoy some very pleasant weather indeed on Monday, out on the course. I haven't gone golfing for YEARS. It took me quite a while to get warmed up and in the swing of things (HA!), but I did manage to get a few good whacks in. I also took a tumble down a hill, and thankfully most didn't see it. I guess my legs are just too short. Anyway, it was lots of fun. We went with the school's J. Reuben Clark Law Society and played the best ball for 13 holes. One of my hits was even used! We were also graced with a couple of crazy dear.

Back to the weather. Fall is coming!!! Sooooo excited. Buh-bye summer. Hello crisp air. Hello jackets & sweaters. Hello soups, stews, and chili. Hello crock-pot; long time no see. And hello Halloween! *B


it burns us!

No elven ropes here. Just lousy popcorn with terrible directions:

It still had ten seconds to go...

The only pop-action was of me popping it into the appliance de la muerte. Monk and I went for a quick garbage dump and came back to a smoky house and a near exploding micro.

So, I flung the windows open, cranked the fans up, and gasped for air. Then I threw the offensive package outside and doused it in water. And then I cleaned the unfortunate crime scene with bleach and oxy-clean. It still smells gosh awful and looks like so.

Now what? *B


bucket o' fun

Monk has a blast with a pail full of water. Without any prompting he dunks himself and settles down in. Frankly, I'm surprised he fits! I'm even more surprised he's not freezing, because I would be... and check out that diaper! Impressive.

Yes, my son is that cute (if not cuter) in real life. And no, I did not arrange the hose or any other part of the rest of the scene. Just my boy and his joy: water. Just another thing we have in common (besides teasing).

PS- gosh, it's great having a camera.
And a fast one, too!
Oh happy days. *B


just because

Because she's my friend. Because I love a good swap (key word: good). Because her past swap partners are THE lamest. Because she deserves it. Because it's fun to create: because I love my wooden blocks; because I love any excuse to use mod podge; because I love fabric and other such sewing stuff; because I love hippie-influenced jewelry; because I love the color red; because I love my glasses and automatically feel bonded with others who feel similarly; because it's how I keep myself occupied while a certain someone is away; because it's how I keep myself sane as I deal with another certain busy-body... Because everything I've mentioned brings me joy. That's why. *B


if trouble could melt like lemon drops

A day to remember, six years ago today.
Dare to dream. It's still a wonderful world. *B