post script

I'm pretty sure I'm the worst blogger, right now! Forget posting regularly. Forget commenting regularly. Forget contests, or swaps. Shoot, forget Bloglines! And I can't guarantee that I'll be/get better anytime soon... but there are a few things I wanted to add since my last post. So here goes:

First off, we are poorer than dirt. I've never been so worried about money as I am now. These past few weeks and looking into the coming month is nothing short of frightening. However, we've been extremely blessed and things have just worked out, miraculously. Thanks to the law of tithing! Wow. Anyway, so I've been busting my butt to make a few bucks, ever since we got back from all our traveling. I'm venturing out more and more into the graphic design world and so far, so good. And hopefully next week, I can give you more details about what's been keeping me so busy. But busy is good, because it means money. And we need money. Now, more than ever.

Also, I am not pregnant. Just thought I would answer that question a bit more clearly. Yes, I wish I was, but apparently someone up high has some other plans for us. I'm trying to come to grips with said plan, and for most of the time I'm right on board with it. But then there are the times where no matter how logical I am (you know, realizing how lucky I am to already have a son and that there may be a darn good reason as to why I haven't had another one yet, etc.), it doesn't change the fact that I want a baby. I'm ready, waiting, and still wanting. So yeah.

And I am honestly amazed that there are people out there that like Apple Jacks! No offense. but I really don't care for them. And before you say/write anything, it has NOTHING to do with the fact that it's a sugar cereal. Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Cocoa Crispies just so happen to be amongst my favorites! But Apple Jacks? Bluck. Anyway, thanks to everyone for answering my random question :)

Oh, and if you're interested in learning about what I've been reading, then be my friend on GoodReads. Good stuff. Good times. And now I'm off to read some more, and be with my brother. Did I forget to mention that he's been visiting with us for the past week? Oh, and WALL-E is AMAZING. Go see it. *B

PS- to anyone who might be interested: I'm working on building up my portfolio in graphic design. So, to the first ten people, I will help design your blog/website, t-shirt, cards/invitations/announcements or anything else you can think of, for free! Email me with any requests or questions. Help me, help you ;)

trying to stay sane...

{photo by Robin}

I'm back. From traveling, that is. I'm also back in laundry valley... honestly, I don't feel like doing anything. At all. Except read. I've been doing a lot of that lately. It's my way of hiding from the world. From things like laundry. And poverty. And pizza face. And non-pregnancy. And the HEAT! What else is there to do but lock yourself inside with your television, books, and bored (needy) child? And all of this leads me to wonder: who actually likes Apple Jacks???

No, really. I want to know. *B

pathetic, i know

My little monkey just asked me for a shirt, because he was "cold." The nerve of that child, expecting his mother to dress him! What's next? Begging me to change his diaper?! Wait, he already does...

Time to get off the comp and back to laundry [sigh]. *B

boy howdy: a travel log

Sheesh and man alive, I am beat! And then some. I can't even remember what I've been up to these past few weeks, but I'll try my best to recollect... so we were up in Washington for a while and came home for a day to ourselves. Then one of my BFF's came for a few days; what a treat! A day after her departure, we had a little shindig with some buddies before they left, and a couple of days later we headed out for Utah. Brad had some business to attend to and we had some family and friends to visit. It's been far too long, but we finally got to spend some quality time with grandparents, sister/brother and nephews/cousins for a week (Monk was in heaven, and frankly, so was I. Thanks Ellen for being the sister I always wanted!). I'm not even sure if the hub was able to get enough work done, which was the main reason we headed out that way...

I was also able to meet up with my pals from the web, Jbird (who graciously took some amazing family photos) and Lacey (who is officially THE cutest and sweetest pregnant lady I've ever met). Much fun, but too short a visit, gals! Oh, and we also made a quick stop in St. George to see my lovely Aunt S. AND Brad has some family in Vegas that we got to spend some time with and we're already planning on future trips to Sin City, in the next year or so... you know, to slip some coins into slots and window shop for a possible home. We'll see how far temptation takes us ;)

Wait, I'm not finished, yet! Now that we're home for a few days, I'm attempting to move mountains of laundry (I seriously have like, 50-odd loads), take a test, fulfill some orders and finish up some fun and exciting projects that I still haven't even mentioned yet! Don't even ask me how many emails and blogs I have to go through... Then, come Monday it's a day at Dland with my family, followed by a huge Borgia reunion up in Sacramento. Basically, when we get back next Saturday (?) I plan on locking myself in my apartment until Comic-Con (yup, still as dorky as ever; I'm also lame and feeling fat).

Oh, and gas prices (now $4.50) do NOT help in all of this traveling... also, we are poorer than dirt. But, we have discovered that Arby's makes some killer subs! *B

stuck behind the moon

I'm hiding. That's what I tell people, my reason as to why I haven't written for so long (mostly this guy, and him, too). Ok, not really. I'm just doing things other than blogging... am I really missed, though? I'm still waiting for my induction amongst the real heroes. If only I had a super power, like mind reading, or hypnotic writing... but really, I'm just getting out more.

My apologies, but I'm quite enjoying my unintentionally prolonged blogging break... not posting unless I feel like it; it's quite exhilarating at times. *B

PS- new theme song ;)

that's what she said

All right, here's the deal: I've been away from home for the past week or two. I'm up in Seattle (which I'd forgotten how much I loved) with the hub's family. Good people. Good times. And anytime I go on vacation, I go into an unplanned blog hiatus. That means my posting on and reading of blogs (and commenting) grinds to a halt. With the exception of the Twilight Lexicon blog, of course. My obsessive nerdiness, for one, is not influenced by location. However, my weight is, and I am so kicking my butt into high gear when I get home... also, it is really, REALLY, unfair to feel pregnant when you're not. But I am glad that my nasty head cold is finishing up. Not so glad about my asthmatic lungs. Also, Iron Man is wicked awesome. Wow. Oh, and I need to cut my bangs. Again.

I'll be back to regular posting, both logical and nonsensical, in a few days...
I love me some vacay! *B

May 11th, 2008

I could have given birth today. I could be nursing, right now, too. And again in two hours... I would also be recovering from another Cesarean, most likely. But I would have had my baby. Time sure does fly, whether you're having fun or not. Honestly, I felt like this day would be forever in coming. And I worried that once it came, I'd be a wreck. I'm not, though. Surprisingly. I'm sad, disappointed. And confused. But I'm okay.

I'm also a mother to another wonderful, sweet (moody), healthy boy. So happy mother's day to me! And to all the other wonderful women out there, who love as mothers do (because a baby doesn't make a mother; love does). And I'm grateful to have the love of my wonderful mothers, and the love of my child. *B

geeking out

It's confession time, my dear friends. And I do hope we can still be friends after what I'm about to tell you. You're sure to look at me differently. Here goes... I'm a total nerd. I mean, really, a full blown geek. Let me lay it all out for ya (in no particular order) and do or don't laugh, because it's all true...

1. I have glasses. And I like them.
2. I grew up playing with my brother's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as much as I played with dolls. I also read comic books and Goosebumps more frequently than I read Anne of Green Gables, etc.
   
3. I used to read about and sketch fairies with elaborate wings, obsessively.
   
4. Most of the guys I dated or hung out with were either huge video gamers or computer programmers. My husband happens to be both.
5. I once considered getting a minor in Computer Science in college. I took one course (CS 124), was one of two girls in attendance, did surprisingly well and ended up with an A in the class and was offered a tutoring position. My own tutor and teacher practically begged me to stay in the program...
6. I used to be able to read binary, assembly language, and basic C++
7. I currently understand a bit of html and can code my own stuff, with a little help from the web et al.
8. I frequently read and can appreciate/understand 90% of the webcomic xkcd
9. I have a kick trash, screaming fast computer that is not only useful for all of my graphic design projects, but also comes in real handy whenever I feel like playing this game. My character's name is Rhea and I'm a wood elf. But I only play in God Mode...
10. I really, truly want to play Dungeons & Dragons. The real-live version, not the video game (which I have played).
    
11. I admittedly feel more comfortable scrapbooking digitally rather than with paper
12. I love the Renaissance Festival and have been dying to go back ever since my first field trip there, despite the Arizona heat, that's how much I love it. However, I did go to a jousting tournament In Bellevue, last summer. That was fun.
    
13. Firefly is one of my favorite shows. I wish it would come back.
14. I'm still freaking out (happily) that the geniuses behind BSG finally decided to kill off Cally. She was fracking annoying! ;)
    
15. I've always secretly wanted to go to this, and I am seriously considering going this year. You know, in an effort to fully embrace my nerdhood.
    
16. Galaxy Quest is by far, one of my most favorite movies. Ever.
17. Lord of the Rings is my favorite book. Dracula is my second. I'm a sucker for anything magika and/or vampire, pun not intended.
18. Speaking of which, I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I've read the Twilight series. It's not THE best book ever (please see #17), but it is a fun and easy read (please, don't think less of me dearest Rob). But honestly, vampires and teenage romance? I was doomed from the beginning. It seems as though Stephenie Meyer manufactures my brand of heroin ;) I also secretly subscribe to and frequently stalk any fansites out there... and DUDE! They're making a movie!!! Seriously geeking out over this, this, and this. Oh yeah, AND this:
    

I've already got plans in the making for a book signing expedition AND a tour of Forks, La Push, etc. Who's with me???

BUT, I do speak plain English (sans Middle Earth accent) and can dress myself (in clothing other than mithril armor). Also, I have not and never will work at McDonald's. So, can we still be friends? *B

may day

is the day we were wed. We, as in me and Brad (the hub). And we have been blissfully married for four years, now. Honestly, we really are happy together. I think we could count how many fights we've had on one hand, with fingers to spare! No joke. We have yet to get tired of each other. Crazy.

Simply put, this man of mine just makes me smile, every morning. He has since day one. And he will continue to do so for forever...

Thank you for that, honey. And thanks for so much more. *B

nopity, nopity noo

My favorite phrase (Name that movie!) to use in place of NO...

For those of you who were wondering, I am NOT pregnant.

Better luck next time? *B

PS-photo taken by Monk, himself. No joke.

salivate much?

I know everyone and their dog has probably seen this already, but I've got to do my own selfish part! The dear and lovely Camille has a sa-weet give-away going on. I can't believe she's going to willingly give up one of her gorgeous quilts to some person! Wow. I mean, WOW! But if she is, then I hope that person is me! I already told her that there's no one out there in the world that would love it more than me. Seriously. Then grab a bib to catch all that slobbery goo your mouth is bound to release and then check it out.

And tell her I sent you! *B

clarification

"I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy."
Mother bloggers unite!!!

I never said that there is anything wrong with a mom blog. I was simply saying that I (me, myself) choose to stay public, but am also aware of the fact that unknown others might come across my blog. That is why I do not feel comfortable posting certain things. If you happen to be the kind of person who likes to share intimate stories and/or pictures about yourself and loved ones AND if you happen to be worried about who may be looking at your web log, then maybe going private is right for you. I, however, want to stay public so I choose to filter my own content, only posting what I feel is safe.

What you blog about is up to you. Not me. And I would never tell anyone how to run their blog, or their life. I just thought you should know that about me. *B

busy thinkin' stuff

So, my blog has kinda slowed down in the area of postage, eh? Sorry, to anyone who is or has been disappointed by that fact. Anyway, I just haven't been feeling it, as of late. No reason, really. But I had to get on here and post something, so that TMI post wasn't at the top anymore. Thanks for all the well wishes! And I'll keep you posted with as much info as you can stomach, because as P-dub would say I'm just "keepin' it real."

Now, this handsome little devil of mine has been keepin' me preoccupied, physically and mentally. I haven't been tending for a few weeks now, so it's just been me and him. Some days were hard and long, and boring without a play mate. But I've been getting back into the groove of things; of our buddiness. And I've really enjoyed it. How can I not? Look at that face!!!

(Lindsey captured him, perfectly)

I've also been thinking a lot about blogging, in general. The whole private vs. public debate... and guess what? I'm staying public. While I believe some may have some valid concern about going private (it is your blog after all, do as you will), I don't feel the same. I've made so many friends and met so many amazing and wonderful people throughout this community. But, I'm careful to not associate myself in certain circles, etc. Just to be safe. And really, a stalker? Stalking me? Puhlease! Who am I to stalk? Besides, the crazies could find me without a blog.

With that being said, I'm not one to divulge in my lifestyle as a mom. Yes, I just referenced the fact that we are trying to get pregnant. That's pretty personal. I realize that. But what I'm not going to do is post a million pictures of my child(ren) and list all of my daily routines. It's just not smart. What's more is that this isn't entirely a mom blog. Sorry to all the family out there who wants to read nothing more than how us Summers are doing, pictures galore et al. Yes, I'm a mom. Yes, I love being a mom. But I'm a mom all day, every day, 24/7. I don't feel like I have to prove how hard I'm trying to be a good mom. And I would go crazy if that's all I thought about. And that's why I craft. That's why I blog. Because I'm a person, too. Not just a mom.

Tangent over. And, I'm about to share a little of my mom side, so jump back (and feel free to call me a hypocrite)! As I was saying, I've been really enjoying my little boy. He's not a baby anymore. He's on the verge of becoming a real, live big boy. He's growing up before my eyes and if I'm not careful, I'm going to miss it! Just a few things he's been doing or saying to melt my heart:

• Talking. A lot. Things like, "Excuse me? Can I hold that?"
  
• Pretending. A lot. Like treasure hunts, making cookies and juice, etc.
• Playing. We play a lot of board games and we take a lot of walks. Just today we went on a bug walk where we kept our eyes' open for pill bugs so we could scare them into balls and then flick them (I know, I'm a mean mom and a bad example...).
• Baths. All the time. It's amazing (and wonderful) how much four inches of water, some bubbles and a couple of water guns will entertain a toddler.
• Crafts. I've been having a lot of fun making things. And so has Monk. I'm trying to really encourage his sense of creativity. We're already working on some needle-friendly skills. And I just received my wonderful win of a book: The Creative Family. I'm so excited to try out everything. Thanks Kim! And thank you, SouleMama.
• Mischief. The kid's got brains and he puts them to good use. He knows how to work our entire entertainment system. It's not only impressive that he can find and insert the DVD of his choice (which usually requires dragging a chair over and removing the previous movie), but it's also pretty miraculous how well the finger smudged discs play...
  
• Illness. The poor boy's been sick these past couple of days, which just breaks my heart. But of course he's been mostly sweet, laying on the couch for hours watching movies while mom re-reads her not-so-trashy vampire romance novels. I think he's on the mend, though. Whew.

And there you have it. My thoughts. And believe me, I have many more...
For another day. *B

busy makin' stuff

like blankets, hair clips, onesies, bibs, aprons and babies. Yes, you read right. Babies. No, I am not pregnant. But soon I will be! Here's hoping. For a baby...

It has indeed been six months since that awful, fateful day and we are now good to go. I've done lots of research this time around, to help ensure a good and healthy conception (and pregnancy). Let's hope it pays off, because I am so very ready for my baby.

Last week a friend of mine stated the obvious: "It's kinda hard to watch other people get pregnant and have babies when you're not." Uh, yeah, it kinda is. I have another friend, or two (or fifty), that are due either on or around my supposed due date, May 11th. That's less than a month away, people. If I were still pregnant I would be in that "it could happen any day now" stage. Crazy. But right now we're in the "wishin' and a hopin', thinkin' and a prayin'" stage. And then, then it's the "holding, and kissing, and squeezing, and loving" stage. Hopefully.

So yeah, we've been busy. *B

truly spoiled...

thanks to Joe!!!
So thanks. A lot! Seriously. *B

tugging at heartstrings

I am decidedly and irrevocably in love with crochet. I'm drooling over this and in serious need of this. I've been busting my fingers (and brain) as of late. And I'm having mixed feelings about knitting (and circular needles)... but my project is finally starting to show some progress-slash-promise! Better later/pretty than sooner/ugly, right? Let's hope so!

And thanks for the sneaky sweet emails. It was just one of those days, most likely because it's just one of those weeks [wink, wink]. I'm sure 70% of it was hormones ;)

Thanks to all the dear hearts out there that help mend my broken one. *B

giving up

I'm tired of being disappointed. I'm tired of being optimistic. I'm tired of being offended. I'm tired of being friendly. I'm tired of being replaceable. I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt. I'm tired of being the peacemaker. I'm tired of being reliable. I'm tired of being well-adjusted. I'm tired of having to prove myself. And I'm tired of being overlooked.

I'm just a human, who's been forgotten. Again. *B

{photo by Miss Robin}

i'm so not kidding

which is weird, because I'm a HUGE tease. But I'm just not feeling it today (of all days!!!). Oh well. However, I have this idea... the goal for the month: dine in, not out. I'm dead serious. So serious that I even made myself a button to remind me of my intentions. We need to save money. We need to be healthy.

How 'bout you? Anyone want to join me??? Feel free to grab the logo and then proudly display it, wherever it will be of service to you and your ambitions. We could be, like, a support group for each other, or something. No joke. *B

one year older...

Happy birthday to my dear mother! She's beautiful, as you can tell. What's more is that she's even better looking on the inside! She's always putting herself last. Always. She really is an angel.

And she's my best friend. *B

happy day(s)

Happy birthday to my daddy (yes, I still call him that. And you know what? I think he likes it...)!!! The big five-o, today. Wowza. It also happens to be my mother's bday in a few days. So here's a picture (or two) of both:

I'm pretty sure I have the cutest parents in the world.
I am one lucky daughter. *B