a rambling confession of sorts
I have a lot of blogs... I used to blog a lot, but not as of late (obviously). I don't think a lot of people blog nowadays, unless they're 1.) professional/business bloggers; 2.) mommy bloggers. I used to be both(?). I used to be involved in a lot of giveaways, creative teams, features, tags, etc. And it was exhausting! And I hated that anytime I talked with someone in real life, they would always ask "So what's your latest project now, Beth?". I couldn't meet someone new (blogland friend) without them thinking I was something great, and I couldn't meet with someone old (real-life friend) without them thinking I thought I was something great. The truth is, I'm just me. I know what sounds good and I know what looks good. And so I'm afraid I can come across as having it all together, which is absolutely ridiculous! Just ask my mom/husband ;)
I wasn't purposefully creating a facade, but I started to vicariously live one. And it grew tiresome, and so I stopped. Until a year ago I came to an earth-shattering conclusion: I am creative. But creative and competitive don't need to coexist. I used to get frustrated with blogging not because I would read blogs and think, "I could never do that" (although there was plenty of that running through my mind); what frustrated me more was knowing that I could do that, and then feeling like I should. If I wanted to, I could design quilt patterns and fabric lines. If I wanted to, I could design wedding announcements and Christmas cards. If I wanted to, I could design whole websites and publish books. But I don't want to. Realizing that I could but didn't have to was very liberating for me.
I don't know if that makes sense to anyone, and I pray this doesn't come across as me sounding egotistical... Nothing makes me feel worse when people assume the worst! All I'm saying is that I enjoy writing, crafting, networking and everything in between. And that's enough for me.
So, I have a lot of blogs. And this post kinda got away from me, because what I planned on confessing was that my favorite blog is my food blog. I maintain my stitchy niche blog because I do like sharing things I've accomplished or things I find inspiring, but I love food more. I find myself taking crappy pictures, scribbling down experimental recipes, and composing informative posts inside my head all day, every day. It actually takes extreme focus for me to write something here, on this blog. And I wonder why that is... Certainly, my family and my life experiences are more interesting! Or at least they should be.
And so I wonder. *B
I'm just sad, period.
ReplyDelete... that hardly anyone blogs anymore.
Darn Facebook ;)
I like your blogs, Beth! Especially the food one. We use recipes from it all the time!
ReplyDeletenot to sound mean, but would it make you feel better if I tell you I saw through it the whole time? na, it wouldn't, so never mind. ;)
ReplyDeleteand I totally get you on the second paragraph. I could elaborate, but you've already said it.
but, I do prefer the inner rambling thoughts (posts like this). You know, when people choose to be real. it's much more interesting to read and easier to identify with. {some not-so-subtle encouragement for you to nurse this blog.}
your ending made me smile.
I love anything and everything you do so just keep doing whatever you want. And please add pictures--because let's face it, your children are your best creations! (As are mine!)
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about your "i could do that, but I don't want to" sentiment. I respect you for saying that. I think it's too easy to 'be like everyone else' because we want to be accepted. But to stand up an say simply, 'it's not my interest.' is more respectful and brave than trying to do what the masses seem to be doing. we are not measured by how well magnify someone else's talent. thanks for the good thoughts.
ReplyDelete