9.19.2009

a whole lot of perfect(ion) going on

Like many others, my heart is feeling a wee bit on the heavy side nowadays. It's amazing how one day everything seems to be clicking into place... we had the perfect job and in two months, we'd be moving into our perfect little dream house preparing for our first perfect Christmas in our first perfect home. And then the very next day, we find ourselves (in a now seemingly pointless one-bedroom apartment) with an unsteady future; our perfect job may not be so perfect and our perfect new home now looks more and more unlikely. I couldn't be sadder. I couldn't be lower. One day I was engulfed in the happy planning of my happy life. The next day I was engulfed in doubt, despair and discouragement.

And then I remember that that's life. And I'm not scared. When Brad was preparing for the CA Bar he worried... What if his studying wasn't enough? What if he didn't pass? The list of fears went on and on. But I assured him that as important as this test is, it does not define him. And so I remind myself, as I reminded him, of what does define us: our family and the gospel. What more do we need?

Last night, after I cried myself silly, I watched this (that Nie has uncanny timing). And today I read this, and this. I acknowledge the fact that life is hard. My life isn't perfect... But, my life is good. And I'm here to be perfected. God is perfect and God is good, also. And He's given me three reasons to smile:


And so I do. *B

18 comments:

  1. Hang in there B!!! It has only got to go up, right?

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  2. Gotta love the rollercoaster right? Maybe not love it. Just endure it. I love your family photo...

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  3. Oh, honey. We're here for you, you know that right? When did you get this picture? Love it!!

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  4. That is a perfect picture! Good luck with everything you are going through. We wish you the best. Love ya!

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  5. When it rains it pours. But you are very blessed in what you have :)

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  6. Life. Oh how it shoots out the curveballs huh?

    Luckily, anyone with a family that cute has at least something to smile about!

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  7. Hey. I hope you are doing okay. Hang in there, I am sure things will work out. They always eventually do. And by the way...your kids look so much a like I cant believe it.

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  8. Life does throw curve balls and they hurt so much while they are happening, but I look back and can apreciate the growing I did while dealing with those nasty curve balls. Good luck, I'm here for you too :)

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  9. Girl! Thank you for your example of looking for the good and focusing on the important stuff. Loved the links! Here's a quote from nie's blog that I love!

    There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire,
    which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which
    kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.

    -Washington Irving

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  10. Shannon6:28 AM

    We'll keep you in our prayers.

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  11. You know what? We ALL need a good cry every once in a while. Life is hard, and that SUCKS.

    It seems that our Father always has a different plan for us than we would otherwise have for ourselves, but never forget that you're never forgotten, and that right now you have a version of your perfect life because, dang... you guys are PRETTY!

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  12. I love you B. you are such an inspiration, you are so real, you are so what I hope to be one day. I am so sorry that it is "pouring" on you right now... at least that means that you are in for a rainbow in the future... easier said than enjoyed though. I think you guys should just pack up and come on out to Vegas... we need a family like yours here!

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  13. I am sorry to hear that so many things fell out from under you at once. But you are a wonderful person for thinking about what really matters in life! I have always thought of you as a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman who has so much to offer! You will get through this, and as you said you have 3 wonderful people to help you.

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  14. Oh Bethers! How I love thee! I'm definitely here for you if you need ANYTHING! Things will look up, for sure. The Lord wont send anything your way that wont make you a better person :) I'm glad you have such a positive outlook on a negative situation. Miss you already! XOXO

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  15. good way of looking at life. That is something I need to do in my life.

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  16. I love you Beth!

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  17. your family is beautiful... I mean really beautiful!!

    Hugs from Texas sweet beth...

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  18. Another reason to smile: you have fabulous legs and I'm oh-so-jealous of them...

    Getting our house was a complete roller coaster ride. Things came through in the end, but we went through a lot of ups and downs first!

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You're currently in the process of making my day. So thanks for that! *B