3.04.2011

moving mountains

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I haven't wanted to say anything, in fear of jinxing it...  But I believe I have found the secret to successful laundering!!!  This is huge my friends, HUGE.  And on top of that, I've been making my bed E.V.E.R.Y. A.M.  Who is this person???  It's me :)  And it feels soooo good!

When my life feels out of control, I have two choices: let my life control me, or take control of my life.  While wallowing in self pity/loathing, I would despondently stare at my piles mountain of laundry.  I already felt like a failure, and here was proof: my dirty laundry, a metaphor on so many levels.  How ridiculous that my sense of self worth would be tied to a single chore!  But I couldn't do anything right, let alone laundry... When you're already down, everything gets you down.  Negativity breeds negativity.  I can't remember why, or how, but I decided that I had had enough; this dirty laundry needed some air!

I am happiest when my house is clean.  It does not sparkle.  It is not big.  It's quite small, actually.  But it is comfortable, and it is home.  And it's mine.  I am grateful for it.  I am blessed to have it.  And therefore, I should treat it as the blessing it is and do my part in making it "Heaven on Earth."  By keeping my home clean, I am not only inviting the Spirit in, but I am also making sure It's comfortable when It's here.  Because I don't want It to leave.

I am happiest when my house is organized.  It is not spotless.  And there is not a place for everything.  Everything is in THIS place.  My place.  And when my place is orderly on the outside, I feel orderly on the inside.  I love going to bed, feeling like I accomplished something great.   I am home-maker, hear me roar!  My house is my office.  My home is my job.

Sure, life is overwhelming at times.  And it's (real) easy to make mountains out of mole hills, especially when you've been trudging up the same mole hill for the past two years!  But, a chore doesn't have to be a chore.  Sure, laundry is a beast...  But eating that elephant a bite at a time can bring peace and JOY to my home and heart.

Basically, I've reached the summit and I'm not starving.  *B

5 comments:

  1. i cannot tell you how much i have realized this same thing! ever since we've been going through all the changes with cameron and his issues, i have learned so much about myself spiritually. and i have found a few things about just that...

    1. the spirit does not dwell in my home as easily if it's messy, unorganized, and chaotic (much like me... if i'm that way, the spirit has a harder time finding me).

    2. the way my house looks honestly parallels how i'm feeling inside.

    my house is not as clean as i would like it to be today. off to clean and have my kids help! thanks for the reminder!

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  2. I recently discovered your blog and I love it because you are vulnerable and real and put yourself out there. It's very refreshing.

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  3. This is so true. I needed this today! :) You are seriously an AMAZING example of a great mom and home-maker.

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  4. your words sing to me beth! i'm so so so glad you share them :) you have a wonderful way of saying everything i feel in ways i couldn't begin to express. hip hip for moving your mountains! you inspire me to move mine :)

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  5. Amen sister!
    I am the same way:) Glad you are feeling better and finding what works for you.

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You're currently in the process of making my day. So thanks for that! *B